im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
