how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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