she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
