don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
