He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
