I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
