So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
it's great music for shaving your balls
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
