Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I'm passing your future prison.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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