The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
