i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
