my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
