By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
