Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
