Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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