The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We don't watch enough power rangers
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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