Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
