U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
