you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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