I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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