I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
