i need an iv and a liver transplant
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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