I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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