We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
