Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
