just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
