So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
