This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize