It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
