ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
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