Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
