It's Friday. Sex?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize