and next time when you feel me up, do it right
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
