He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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