I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I want to be your penis for a week.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
