dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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