Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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