you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Vodka?
Forever.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
