I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
