just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
