Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
