i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
