how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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