i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
