Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i love accidental penises.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The air taste purple.
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