I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
