so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
