You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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