If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
