I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
