I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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