Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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