the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
