so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
