He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
there is puke in my bra ... again
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