So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
