the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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