addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
