you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
