Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
