never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Can you bring me the toilet please
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
