I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's rum buckets o'clock
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